On unexpected tears-

Photo 8-6-15 19 19 40 Photo 8-6-15 21 35 32 I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen my husband cry over the past 35 years. That is not to say he is void of emotion. He just doesn’t cry. That’s ok, because the rest of us cry all the time. Kind of. We even laugh until we cry. So, someone needs to be the rock. And he was. Until Samuel’s rehearsal dinner. It is customary for the groom’s parents, or in this case, the groom’s dad, to say a few words at some point during the evening. Clearly it could not have been me. No one would have understood a word I said. I would have sobbed. Sam was the very logical choice.

He is a man who deeply loves his children. He has always been there for them. Over the years he never missed an event, or game, or performance that included one of our kids. One of the great benefits of being your own boss. Regardless, the night of the rehearsal dinner took us all by surprise at the tangible emotion that was released. His intense love for his son was palpable. I am grateful for that unconditional love.

Here’s what he said:

“Good evening everyone. I’m the other Sam Smith, this is my wife Ann, and we are the proud parents of the groom. We’d like to thank each of you for joining us on the eve of Samuel and Sarah’s wedding.
As I look at these two beautiful people tonight, I think back to when Samuel first told us he was thinking about asking Sarah on a date. He was not sure if it would be prudent because school was ending for the year in a couple weeks. I think it was the next day he called to say he decided to go for it. After that 1st date he called to proudly tell us there was definitely going to be a 2nd one. That was last April. Early on we knew he was smitten. Even though he was headed to Morocco for most of the summer I told Ann, we need to have Sarah come east in order to meet her. We didn’t know when we would be able to visit in Seattle and something told us not to wait, as Samuel had an excitement about Sarah that said this girl is different.
It was a whirlwind visit last August, but she was able to spend some time with Samuel’s two sisters and experience our whole family dynamic. She held her own. She understood my sense of humor. That was huge. Once we got to know her, we could see why Samuel fell in love with her and why they fit together so well. Today, it’s impossible to imagine our family without her, and after tomorrow, she’ll officially become a Smith. Sarah, we love you, and we could not be happier that you’re marrying our son. Samuel, your mother and I are very proud of you, and we love you.
My best advice to you in this moment is to follow Christ’s example of sacrificial living, to love with no conditions, and make acts of kindness part of your every day. If you can do that, everything else will fall into place. Congratulations to the two of you, and may your marriage be blessed.”

It’s a good thing it was all written down.

Posted in Empty Nest, Family, Joy, Legacy, Love, Rehearsal Dinner | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Happy Birthday Bubba! “22”

2011_04_06_13_18_36I just reread what I had written only a couple of months ago to honor your graduation from Seattle Pacific University- On our last college graduation and beyond -a reminder of how the past 22 years have gone by at warp speed.

And then…

Two weeks ago you married the love of your life. That week was so much fun! A beautiful time of celebration, and being with family and friends. Although we wish we could be there now to celebrate your birthday with you, we know you are in good hands! Happiest of birthdays to you!

From this:

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To this:

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And soon, this:

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What a year you’ve had! May the Lord bless you and keep you and cause His face to shine upon you always!

Love, Mom & Dad

P.S. Check your texts. :)

 

 

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Our ‘Adventure Walk’ that has continued 35 years and counting~

We just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary! What an adventure it’s been. Years ago we watched Steve Martin and Goldie Hawn in a little movie called Housesitter. In that, Goldie’s character made up an elaborate story about the ‘adventure walks’ she took with her ‘boyfriend,’ played by Steve Martin. In the years since, we’ve often referred to our ‘adventure walks.’ Which were seldom an actual walk, but always an adventure. This weekend celebration was one of those. Sam “could not have planned it better,” which he said over, and over again this weekend. :) And it’s true.

Car trip! Heading to the beach as we begin our adventure.

Car trip! Heading to the beach as we begin our adventure.

We had lots of time to talk... about all our time together. Over 35 years. What?!

We had lots of time to talk… about all our time together. Over 35 years. What?!

This. We spoke often of our 'most important work.' What a huge blessing... with a smattering of heartache, fear, and worry. So, we're both human. :)

This. We spoke often of our ‘most important work.’ What a huge blessing… with a smattering of heartache, fear, and worry. So, we’re both human. :)

Cafe' Papillon, Rehoboth Beach! Other than the beach, our favourite place there! Real. French. Crêpes.

Cafe’ Papillon, Rehoboth Beach! Other than the beach, our favourite place there! Real. French. Crêpes.

Crêpes? Yes please!

Crêpes? Yes please!

So relaxing.

So relaxing.

Picture perfect day.

Picture perfect day.

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A great beach read… so far.

We did a lot of biking. We found a new trail!

We did a lot of biking. We found a new trail too!

This. One of our family mottos. Sometimes we succeeded. Sometimes we failed. But we always loved. So maybe, really, we always succeeded.

This. One of our family mottos. Sometimes we succeeded. Sometimes we failed. But we always loved. So maybe, really, we always succeeded.

Left - Biking ON the beach at Hilton Head (35 years ago.. in case you couldn't tell) Right - Biking TO the beach at Rehoboth this past weekend.

Left – Biking ON the beach at Hilton Head (35 years ago.. in case you couldn’t tell) Right – Biking TO the beach at Rehoboth this past weekend.

A fav - Hopkins Farm Creamery. Smells like cows, but they make great icecream!

A fav – Hopkins Farm Creamery. Smells like cows, but they make great icecream!

Elmer's Market. You could smell these strawberries! Beautiful strawberries!

Elmer’s Market. You could smell these strawberries! Beautiful strawberries!

Our last night we stayed at Bartlett Pear Inn. Simply wonderful. It was our treehouse in the Boston Commons. :) Watch the movie.

Our last night we stayed at Bartlett Pear Inn. Simply wonderful. It was our treehouse in the Boston Commons. :) Watch the movie.

This home was built in 1790, but had a fresh, modern feel to it as well.

This home was built in 1790, but had a fresh, modern feel to it as well.

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Our dressing room.

Our dressing room.

Adorable. Although a bit claustrophobic with the curtain drawn.

Adorable. Although a bit claustrophobic with the curtain drawn.

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The upper veranda.

The upper veranda.

The other side of the upper veranda.

The other side of the upper veranda.

Town of St. Michael's

Town of St. Michael’s

View from the Knappes Narrows Draw Bridge. Apparently the nation's busiest.

View from the Knappes Narrows Draw Bridge. Apparently the nation’s busiest.

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First, let me say, dinner was amazing! This is Rigleigh Gardens Garlic Soup with Carmelized Button Mushrooms and Pearl Onions, Chive Oil, Garlic Chips.

First, let me say, dinner was amazing! This is Rigleigh Gardens Garlic Soup with
Carmelized Button Mushrooms and Pearl Onions, Chive Oil, Garlic Chips.

Here we have“Bacon & Eggs”  Blackbottom Farms Braised Pork Belly Inn Made Brioche, Sandhill Farms Fried Quail Egg, Blueberry Jus.

Here we have“Bacon & Eggs”
Blackbottom Farms Braised Pork Belly
Inn Made Brioche, Sandhill Farms Fried Quail Egg, Blueberry Jus.

Chesapeake Fried Oysters  Cottingham Farms Fennel & Leek Ragout, Lemon & Cilantro Aioli.

Chesapeake Fried Oysters
Cottingham Farms Fennel & Leek Ragout, Lemon & Cilantro Aioli.

Rhode Island Sea Scallops  Cottingham Farms Bean Medley, Inn Made Rigleigh Gardens Tomato Marmalade Saffron Beurre Blanc.

Rhode Island Sea Scallops
Cottingham Farms Bean Medley, Inn Made Rigleigh Gardens Tomato Marmalade
Saffron Beurre Blanc.

Inn Made Pappardelle Pasta  Stonehouse Farms Poached Egg, Hazelnut & Onion Ragout, Sage Cream Sauce.

Inn Made Pappardelle Pasta
Stonehouse Farms Poached Egg, Hazelnut & Onion Ragout, Sage Cream Sauce.

Traditional Opera Cake  Chocolate Ganache, Coffee Buttercream & Ice Cream, Gold Leaf. We ate every bite of everything.

Traditional Opera Cake
Chocolate Ganache, Coffee Buttercream & Ice Cream, Gold Leaf. WE ATE EVERY BITE OF EVERYTHING.

The beautiful outdoor patio.

The beautiful outdoor patio.

A bartlett pear.

A bartlett pear sculpture of course.

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Highly recommend this Inn & restaurant. The Washingtonian put it in the top 25. :) Chef Jacob is amazing.

Highly recommend this Inn & restaurant. The Washingtonian put it in the top 25. :) Chef Jacob is amazing.

At breakfast the next morning.

At breakfast the next morning.

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Perfection.

Perfection.

A perfect French omelet.

A perfect French omelet.

A fun, exciting, thoughtful, introspective, and beautiful weekend. Somethings we'll be working on until the end of time. :)

A fun, exciting, thoughtful, introspective, and beautiful weekend. Some things we’ll be working on until the end of time. :)

Dear Sam, I know you know this, but here it is in black and white… I love you with my whole heart! Looking so forward to what’s to come! Thank you for everything!!!

Signed and notarized. Ann <3

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Why evangelicals should think twice about equating modern Israel with Israel of the Bible

myfullemptynest:

Great questions. “Would we stand for any other democratic nation on earth driving people off of land that’s been in their families for generations? Would we stand for any other nation building settlements on land that almost everyone agrees belongs to someone else? Would we stand for them restricting people’s freedom of movement, bulldozing their homes, and killing thousands of innocent civilians?”

Originally posted on Ben Irwin:

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The other day, I raised a question for evangelicals who think standing with Israel means supporting them no matter what. How do you reconcile a “never criticize Israel” mentality with the overwhelming witness of the biblical prophets?

If you’ve been told that unconditional support for Israel is the only “biblical” position, that the modern-day state enjoys the same kind of “most favored nation” status with God as ancient Israel did, then here’s another question. If Israel today is entitled to the covenant blessings spoken by the Old Testament, what about their covenant obligations?

The Bible never spoke of Israel’s covenant blessings apart from their obligations. It’s no use trying to have one without the other. And at least one of these obligations poses a bit of a problem for the modern state of Israel, if it is indeed the same nation as the one in the Bible.

Ancient Israel was not supposed to have…

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TLC’s Child-Abuse Documentary Should Not Include the Duggars

myfullemptynest:

Victim blaming has no place in this world.

Originally posted on TIME:

Whenever I watched TLC’s 19 Kids & Counting, I never questioned what I saw—I questioned what I didn’t see. I just knew too much. I grew up in a similar religious environment. As a little girl, I knew how to put on a good public performance, and I also knew what happened when nobody was watching.

TLC announced Thursday that it was canceling the show after allegations were made public that Josh Duggar, one of the children on the show, had molested his sisters when he was a teenager. In response, the Duggars said in a statement that their desire in doing the show was to “share Bible principles that are the answers to life’s problems.” My fundamentalist Christian family had that desire, too.

But as I learned from tragic experience, it was all the answers that we weren’t giving about our lives that became the problems…

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On unnecessary outrage and fear toward Supreme Court decisions~

This past week so many posts flooded my news feed about recent Supreme Court decisions. Most were fair, balanced, compassionate, and loving, regardless if the author agreed with the Court. Yet, one of many posts by people in ‘Christian’ leadership in particularly caught my eye, as it did not fit the paradigm of compassionate and loving. He was not alone in his fear mongering, but he is the face of it today.

Rev. Mark Barclay it seems has an international following. So much so, that he raised money off the backs of hard-working people to buy a personal jet, followed by another fundraiser to raise $79,000 to have it repainted. I guess he bought it used. In my opinion, as a Christian well aware of the extensive needs in the world, no one living off donations has a need for a private jet. Period. That just seems crazy to me. But that’s a whole other discussion.

Especially in light of our pastor’s sermon on Sunday, the post by Rev. Barclay that caught my eye fails in so many ways. Simply put, it completely lacks an understanding of the Gospel and the teachings of Jesus. ‘The church’ doesn’t need ‘chicken little’ church leaders. It needs leaders who truly embrace the Gospel.

Those sucked in by this kind of leadership are often sheltered Christians who never get outside of their Christian bubbles. We need to know AND love those outside of Christianity. Too often Christians adopt the posture of fear and avoidance or antagonism. That is not the example Jesus gave us.

Jesus was driven by compassion. The Pharisees told him the godless and immoral were destroying the nation. Yet, Jesus ate with those godless people. In ancient culture that was equal to forming a business arrangement, giving approval, and establishing a relationship. Christianity is not an insiders club or the moral police. Rather, it’s throwing a banquet for ALL. Just as Jesus received sinners and ate with them. That’s the heart of the Father.

Our posture should be hopeful. Not fearful. Avoiding questions, or fighting is too often the posture. We should expect people to disagree with Christianity. Don’t be surprised by that or fearful. God is in charge. That has already been established. “It is finished.”

(Barclay: “Today I witnessed the beginning of the end. That’s right—the Supreme Court showed itself not so supreme today in its ruling on gay marriage. I see it as the sinners being legalized to overcome the Church and the truths of the New Testament Church (God’s Word).” Someone doesn’t know God IS in control. Really, he thinks anyone can ‘overcome the Church?’ He doesn’t know my God. Perfect love (God) casts out all fear.

We are called to live a humble life. God humbled himself when he entered humanity. Jesus extended honor to Levi and shamed himself (in the culture of the day) when he ate with him. Mark 2:13-17. That’s our example. He humbled himself to lift others up. We are called to surrender our needs and rights. We need to be ready to listen rather than fight. My prayer is that this great ‘apocalypse’ will force us to be humble and move us to compassion.

(Barclay: “It may be just my opinion, but it seems the justices today turned their back on the Church and gave permission for others to persecute us. Prepare yourself, Christian. I don’t see how you will stop the open persecution from progressing against the Church and what we stand for. They now have high court decision with which to go after us.”) Again, what God does he serve? A pretty impotent one it seems. Sad.

Jesus was more excited to be with sinners than the pious and religious people. We need to be friends with people who may never believe. Our job is to love and know people. Not be in their face telling them they are wrong. Our love and compassion will point people to our hope. Everyone is made in God’s image. We need to accept people as they are. When you meet the needs of people, they will see the face of God. It’s hard to argue with that.

(Barclay: “I’m not sure this won’t bring a horrible judgment on America. First we legalize killing babies in our mothers’ wombs (about 60,000,000 now), and now this. How long do we think we can mock God and still have his protection and blessing upon us? God, please forgive us for our sins!”)

Yes, Lord please forgive us. Forgive us for not having a loving, compassionate spirit. Please forgive our arrogance, our gluttony, and our lack of concern for others. Forgive us for focusing on things that distract us from your heart. Forgive us for not helping the poor and needy. Forgive our laziness and our selfishness, and our prosperous ease. We as a country have more than we need, while there is so much need and suffering in the world. Real suffering right outside our door.

Forgive us for worrying. Help us to consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap; they have no storeroom nor barn, and yet God feeds them; how much more valuable you are than the birds! “And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span? “If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matters?

Most of all forgive us for our lack of love and interest in knowing people. People that bear your image.

And when all is said and done, “God presides over a universe that spans billions of light years and includes millions of galaxies and planets. He is outside time and has existed forever. I don’t know if He is discouraged or surprised by the actions of a country that has existed for 239 years and only makes up 4% of the world’s population. I think God is bigger than that.” He is definitely bigger than that.

Posted in Compassion, Empty Nest, Heresy, Hope, Love, Spirituality | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

On the wonderfulness of social media ~

IMG_4956This represents wonderfulness.

Don’t worry. I know all is not rosy. I have heard the horror stories, seen the terrible and hateful comments, especially this past week.  I have been a witness to the bullying, and yet… I still believe social media is a blessing. I am not saying those terrible things are ok. I am saying what some use for evil, others can use for good. And in the end, we all know, love wins.

My reasons for loving the outlets known as ‘social media:’

*A world of great writing is out there. It is attainable by a few clicks of computer keys. I love bloggers, meaningful post writers, tweeters, and tumblr posters. The good ones. The ones that use social media to highlight the positivity and beauty in life. The ones who are honest and ask the hard questions. I just love it. I do.

*It’s such a wondrous thought to me that someday my grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and so on, will be able to read and know what their grandmother was passionate about. I would have loved that opportunity at my finger tips. I did write a report on my Grandpa once in middle school. He was my source, but I would have relished being able to read what he had written over the years, in real-time. How fascinating that would be.

*I love the photos. They tell a story. I know we all like to present the most wonderful story in our lives. What is wrong with that? Nothing. It’s joyful and uplifting. We should all know by now that no one’s life is perfect. So let’s just stipulate that, and enjoy the lovely moments shared.

*It is also a blessing to share in other’s sorrow and pain and to offer words of encouragement with the ease social media affords. That should not in any way diminish the sentiment.

*Social media is a great equalizer as well. It allows people to easily find out they are not alone in a given situation. Someone out there has been there, or is there, and is ready to offer community, support, and words of encouragement. We are very aware how, in a particular situation, Facebook (almost literally) saved the life of a loved one.

*How great is it to keep up with friends and family, far and near?! I love that even though I do not see my nieces and nephews as often as I would like, I can still easily track their progress in life. I can watch them cross a finish line, hear and see them play at a concert, get a glimpse at their award-winning artwork-you see what I mean.

*I am ‘friends’ with all my kids. I follow them on twitter and instagram. They share so many articles, thoughts, photos, and opinions that inspire me. A weekend visit may not allow enough time to cover it all. It’s great to keep up in real-time. There are still texts, emails, and phone calls. Social media is just another excellent form of communication.

*I have always been passionate about the ‘underdogs’ of the world. It is overwhelming at times, but the awareness that social media affords is invaluable. Being able to keep up with our charities and what they are doing around the world, and being able to easily make donations has been a literal godsend.

*Social media is also an exceptional way to bring awareness to an issue or situation, or any social injustice that the mainstream media and/or politicians may gloss over or ignore completely. It often brings about change. Sometimes at warp speed. My most recent cause: Ideas on reconciliation, needs a grassroots uprising and is worthy of it. This kind of awareness is important and a huge blessing.

It’s not all about cute photos and kitten videos to me. :)

*#thankyousocialmedia

 

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On our last college graduation and beyond ~

myfullemptynest:

Reprise: or, why I keep tearing up. #happytears

Originally posted on myfullemptynest:

2011_04_06_13_13_07I can hardly even think about all of this without tearing up. What a milestone. For us, and for Samuel Nehemiah Smith, III. This kid is putting me over the emotional edge this year. One, he’s my baby. Two, our last to graduate college. Three, (drum roll) he’s also getting married later this summer!!!! It is a lot to process.

My heart is so full. It’s bursting. (That’s either a beautiful visual, or a bloody one. The former please.)

He is such a sensitive and loving soul. When he was little, a simple disapproving look was all that was needed. Not that I believe in it, but no spanking necessary. He wanted to go to bed, early, as a toddler. No bedtime battles ever. He was willing to try everything we offered him to eat, including squid on a stick, which he loved.

He has a heart of compassion and…

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On our last college graduation and beyond ~

2011_04_06_13_13_07I can hardly even think about all of this without tearing up. What a milestone. For us, and for Samuel Nehemiah Smith, III. This kid is putting me over the emotional edge this year. One, he’s my baby. Two, our last to graduate college. Three, (drum roll) he’s also getting married later this summer!!!! It is a lot to process.

My heart is so full. It’s bursting. (That’s either a beautiful visual, or a bloody one. The former please.)

He is such a sensitive and loving soul. When he was little, a simple disapproving look was all that was needed. Not that I believe in it, but no spanking necessary. He wanted to go to bed, early, as a toddler. No bedtime battles ever. He was willing to try everything we offered him to eat, including squid on a stick, which he loved.

He has a heart of compassion and early on he realized it is better to give than receive. As a child he was constantly trying to give away his favourite toys to others. At age 4 he disappeared during the birthday party we had for his au pair, Svenja. He reappeared a few minutes later with his prized race track, wrapped in a kitchen towel, to give to her for a birthday present.

Even though he was often the youngest in his grade, his maturity level surpassed most of his classmates. He was kind, helpful, and never got into trouble. We loved going to his parent/teacher conferences to soak up all the positivity. :)

The acting bug followed Samuel throughout his life, beginning in preschool, then grade school when he played Caesar, followed by numerous other musicals and productions, including playing Jesus on a mission trip in the Dominican Republic. His last production was at Seattle Pacific University, and we were privileged to be there for that one too.

Traveling was a big part of our life when Samuel was little and we enjoyed so many amazing experiences. It stands to reason he was also bitten by the travel bug. We sent him alone to Rome one summer in High School, and to Normandy, France one spring break in college. As a huge history buff, those trips fulfilled a couple items on his bucket list. The mission trips we took as a family, when he was in grade school through high school, contributed to that huge heart of compassion for others. Traveling to Indonesia and Morocco during the past 4 years of college continued to fuel that. He has the biggest heart for others and for making the world a better place. (Where have we seen that before? -It is in their genes.)

Samuel embraced his faith as a small child. Even ‘evangelizing’ his neighborhood friends at their house, which resulted in him being sent home early one day. :) The evolution of his faith has been inspirational. He has taught me so much.

I’m not so ready to let him go. Not that it is my decision. Sending him off to Seattle for university has probably helped me in that transition… a little, a wee little.

It was there at Seattle Pacific University where he met Sarah Michelle Andrews, the girl he will now marry. She is a gift. She exudes the same joy for life and the ability to see beauty everywhere. They share a high level of happiness, and sense of humor, and a certain ‘go with the flow.’ They care deeply for others and so obviously for each other. They are simply two extroverts enjoying the journey of life. We look forward to the future with them.

Pray for Samuel and Sarah Sam&Sarah-2927as they begin life as husband and wife beginning August 7, 2015, and as Samuel begins law school at Gonzaga a few weeks after that. We are thankful for so many who poured into Samuel’s life over the past 21 years. Grateful beyond all reason.

Truly our greatest joy in life has been raising our kids. Enjoying them as adults has raised that bar.

Love you Bubba! Congratulations to you and Sarah as you graduate. We wish you all the best and look forward to celebrating your future with you!!

Love, Me, and Dad too!

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Dancing in Indonesia – the bearded man in yellow

 

Samuel & Jeffery

Samuel & Jeffery in the Dominican Republic

Image 1 SamuelatSPU My kids with my Mom & Dad

Samuel in Indonesia

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Alli & Paw Paw

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On the Baltic Sea

On the Baltic Sea

Undergrad grad

Alli & little Samuel in Quebec City

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The Future Mr. & Mrs. Smith

myfullemptynest:

A new Mr. and Mrs. Smith on the horizon….

Originally posted on Steph Chew:

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